Hello all! Once again, I haven’t really been around. But I have good news: I got a job! It’s a part-time job, 25 hours per week, but maybe the hours will increase in the future. Maybe it will even develop into a full-time position in the future.
The reason I haven’t been around is because I’ve been very slumpy due to Ready Player One. I DNF’d the book, and I explain why in my June Wrap Up video on YouTube. My mental health has also not been at its best. I’ve just felt drained. On top of that, my dad’s car broke down, so I had to help him almost everyday.
Additionally, this job… I’m happy to have a job. This one is at a bank, and I wanted a job in college administration. I’ve accepted the job and interviewed for the job because I need the money, but now I’m not sure what to do. Do I keep applying to college admin jobs? Should I wait a while – like six months – and then keep applying? Should I just stick with working at the bank?
The thing is, I don’t care that much what my job is. I care about the job not being mentally draining. I suffer from a lot of anxiety and depression, and in the past I’ve had jobs that were horrible for me.
What I want is to be a writer. I want to have a job that can pay my bills while I try to write. There’s a book called Real Artists Have Day Jobs: (And Other Awesome Things They Don’t Teach You in School) by Sara Benincasa that I really want to read. Maybe it’ll provide some insight. I’m not sure.
So it’s just been a depressing, draining, hot week, even though I’m happy I got a job. I start in mid-July and I hope it goes well.
Hello all! It’s been literally two weeks since I posted anything. I’m sorry about that. I just wasn’t very motivated to write for the blog, and I’ve been anxious about finding a job. I have had several promising interviews, so let’s hope I find something soon.
I have been posting videos over on my YouTube channel, the most recent one being a review of Difficult Women by Roxane Gay. I meant to also post written reviews here, but obviously that didn’t happen in this case. If you enjoy bookish videos, feel free to check out the channel.
I also enjoy Tumblr and I run this blog dedicated to all things period drama and fantasy. I enjoy making edits and gifs for it. So, again, if you’re into that, feel free to check that out.
Other than that, I’ve been playing video games and reading. Not much else to report on, honestly. It’s almost the end of the month, so at the beginning of July I’ll have several new posts coming. I love the beginnings of things.
I haven’t been around this past week, and I’ve made zero posts since my last life update. That’s all due to my mental health. I just haven’t felt like participating.
What have I been doing instead? Reading a bit (by listening to audiobooks), playing video games, and watching YouTube.
This past week I did get an in-person interview, and they said they’d let me know in a week. I hope I have a job the next time I do a life update post! That would be awesome.
At the end of the last post, I promised I would start a bullet journal, and I did!
I found a cheap one at Michael’s that even has the dot graph. I also got a great collection of colorful pens. I’ve been updating my trackers and other things daily. Maybe in the future I’ll go into more detail on how I use it, but right now it’s brand new.
Another exciting thing that happened is the publisher sent me a copy of Hunger by Roxane Gay. This is one of my most anticipated books. I can’t wait to read it. It comes out on June 13 and I highly recommend you pick it up. I know it’s going to be awesome.
I did go and see Wonder Woman in theaters and I adored it. I love superhero movies in general, but the last few Marvel movies haven’t been great to me. I’m getting bored with them. I feel like the DC movies are darker and grittier, and that’s what I like.
The audiobook I’ve been listening to almost nonstop is The Girl who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest. I finally finished it! You can read my immediate thoughts on Goodreads, but I ended up giving it three stars.
The next audiobook I’m going to focus on is Tears We Cannot Stop, and I’m also trying to finish Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on ebook.
This past week hasn’t really been anything amazing. I am actively looking for a job, and I don’t know what I was thinking because it’s been hard on me. It’s been tough. My sister keeps telling me that it’ll take time, and I’m just so antsy to be doing something. What should I do with all the spare time I have? It’s always been hard for me to relax. I always need a project. And looking for a job is aggravating because I send out so many applications and most of them go unanswered. Sometimes I get an email back saying they went with someone else, and occasionally I’ve gotten a phone interview.
So, yeah, it’s been a rough week because I’m feeling desperate. I have to try to stay positive and keep on applying to positions. My depression and anxiety get in the way of that sometimes. I feel tired, just like I have no energy, most of the time. But I have to push through it! It’s important to show up, to do the work.
I did get some more books this week because I can’t stop going to the thrift store. Oops! I’ll haul those in a video in June. But one book I got came from Harper Perennial, and I didn’t request it.
I love love love this cover, and the book itself looks like it’ll be good. I can’t wait to read it!
I don’t watch much television anymore because so many shows I used to love burned me. (Like The 100, Once Upon A Time, Penny Dreadful, True Blood, Dexter, etc.) They either became bad or ended bad, and I just got sick of television shows. Recently, I watched all of The Golden Girls because it came to Hulu. Now I’m watching Frasier on Netflix. I like a good sitcom, I guess, and both of these shows are really funny.
I also enjoy Netflix’s original shows, though they have so many now that I can’t keep up. I completed my re-watch of all four seasons of House of Cards, and the fifth season is going to be released on May 30. I’m very excited.
The only other show I’m watching is the brand-new American Gods. I’m loving it! I tried to read the book a while ago and DNF’d it without prejudice, lol. That basically means I was willing to try to read it again in the future. I didn’t have time before the show came out, and since Bryan Fuller was attached to the show, I didn’t want to put it off. (I loved the first season, and I guess half of the second season, of Hannibal.) So far, American Gods has been really interesting and dynamic and fresh. I’m loving it.
There are so so so many shows out there these days, but are there any on US Netflix that you could recommend to me? Once I watch season 5 of House of Cards, there will be a hole in my life!
As for reading, that’s still going slowly. I have about 50 pages left of Difficult Women by Roxane Gay. I have 12 hours left on my audiobook of The Girl who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest by Stieg Larsson. I also started The End We Start From by Megan Hunter a few days ago, so I doubt I’ll finish that before the end of the month. We’ll see what my wrap up looks like!
Going off of my last update post, I did start going for walks…yesterday. Hopefully I will go for another walk today! I also started writing a story the day before yesterday, and I wanted to write at least 500 words a day. However, I got nothing done yesterday. I think that’s because it was a particularly bad mental health day. It’s so hard to do anything, even things I find fun and relaxing, when I’m feeling foggy and groggy and sad.
I’ve no plans for the upcoming week except to keep applying to jobs. I know BEA is also next week, but I obviously won’t be there. I’ve actually never been to a con. Maybe next year or the year after. I hope I make some headway in my writing, reading, and walking in the next few days.
Every week (and perhaps more often if something really interesting is going on) I’m going to come on here to make a little life update about general things. This may be a more boring post, but in it I’ll talk about lots of random bits, and you can get to know me better.
First off, I got my final grades for my final semester of my Bachelor’s Degree yesterday. Poetry Writing: A. Fiction Writing: A. American Lit: A-. Harlem Renaissance: A-. My GPA for the semester was 3.85, and my cumulative GPA equaled out to 3.7. That means I’m graduating magna cum laude. I’m very happy and proud. I tried so hard to make that happen.
I didn’t want to walk in the ceremony, but since I got my grades now, that means that I’m officially graduated. I think. I won’t receive my diploma for several weeks, though. But to celebrate my grades, I went out to dinner last night. It was fun and delicious.
I’m still applying to jobs as often as I can. One day I even applied to eight! I want to go into higher education administration, but my first job has to be entry-level and somewhat local. I live in Connecticut, and I’m willing to drive 40 minutes. I could also work in New York City and take the train down. However, in my need for a job, I’m also applying to some I’m overqualified for, such as administrative assistants in industry positions, like finance, construction, or medicine. I’m just looking for something to get me working.
When I’m not stressing about that, I’m playing some video games. Usually it’s The Sims 4 on my PC, but it’s been glitching a lot lately. I thought I found a fix, but then the same thing started happening. It’s frustrating when I do it relax. I also like to play Skyrim on my PS4.
I’m also trying to read more, though I’m not having much luck. I’m trying to get through Difficult Women by Roxane Gay. It’s a struggle, which is disappointing because I thought I would really enjoy this collection of short stories. I think there’s been only one story that I really enjoyed. On audiobook, I’m listening to The Girl who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest. Lastly, I hope to start one of my NetGalley books soon.
Another thing I’ve been doing in the past week or so is submitting a story I’ve written this last semester to a bunch of journals/magazines for publication. I haven’t heard back from any of them, and I’m anxious about it.
I took two creative writing courses this past semester, so I was writing a lot. Since going back to college in 2014, I haven’t had much time to write for me. Thinking about it now, I don’t think I’ve written a single word that wasn’t for class or a project tied up with school in some way. I want to get back into writing and use my creativity. I feel like I have a lot of stories to tell. I don’t want to wait until the perfect moment, but I also don’t want to feel bogged down by one project (finding a job) when I really want to do well on another (writing a story) or both. I’ve heard time and again that it’s important to carve out time and make yourself write everyday no matter what. Perhaps I’ll start a regimen.
Similarly, I want to start exercising more. This isn’t about losing weight specifically. (I’m fat in case you didn’t know, and I’ve been that way my whole life.) It’s about working my body. I’ve never been very active, but while in school, I was walking across campus all the time. Now, I have virtually no reason to walk much at all.
Because I want to change my routine to include these things, I’ve considered starting a bullet journal. This would help me stay really organized and on top of every little thing I want to get done. However, I have no idea where to start with them! I have to do research.