Tag: mental health

Life Update: July 15, 2017

Hello all! I just wanted to let you know that my sister and I are doing better. We have more hope for the future. We’ve raised over $1500 now and that is so amazing to us. But not only that. We’ve had so many people send us messages and share the GoFundMe. We are encouraged by all of you who have been so kind. For both of us, our mental health has improved immensely because we have hope.

I start my new job this Monday, and hopefully after a few weeks, we’ll be able to move. Please keep sharing the fundraiser, especially on Facebook. Apparently, that’s where it can be most effective. But Twitter and Tumblr are extremely useful as well. Thank you so much!

Help Us Leave An Abusive Home

IMPORTANT Life Update: July 11, 2017

Hello all! I don’t have too much to report on here except to say my living situation is really becoming unsustainable. I don’t think I’ve touched on this in the past, but I live with my family and my depression and anxiety are worse because of it. A few days ago, my sister and I created a GoFundMe to help us get out of here. Please consider donating, and if you can or can’t, please please please share it around social media (especially Facebook and Twitter). The more shares, the more it will help us.

Help Us Leave An Abusive Home

We’ve raised $900 of our $3000 goal, and every little bit truly helps. Thank you so much.

I also created a video where I talked about this.

Life Update: July 2, 2017

Hello all! Once again, I haven’t really been around. But I have good news: I got a job! It’s a part-time job, 25 hours per week, but maybe the hours will increase in the future. Maybe it will even develop into a full-time position in the future.

The reason I haven’t been around is because I’ve been very slumpy due to Ready Player One. I DNF’d the book, and I explain why in my June Wrap Up video on YouTube. My mental health has also not been at its best. I’ve just felt drained. On top of that, my dad’s car broke down, so I had to help him almost everyday.

Additionally, this job… I’m happy to have a job. This one is at a bank, and I wanted a job in college administration. I’ve accepted the job and interviewed for the job because I need the money, but now I’m not sure what to do. Do I keep applying to college admin jobs? Should I wait a while – like six months – and then keep applying? Should I just stick with working at the bank?

The thing is, I don’t care that much what my job is. I care about the job not being mentally draining. I suffer from a lot of anxiety and depression, and in the past I’ve had jobs that were horrible for me.

What I want is to be a writer. I want to have a job that can pay my bills while I try to write. There’s a book called Real Artists Have Day Jobs: (And Other Awesome Things They Don’t Teach You in School) by Sara Benincasa that I really want to read. Maybe it’ll provide some insight. I’m not sure.

So it’s just been a depressing, draining, hot week, even though I’m happy I got a job. I start in mid-July and I hope it goes well.

Life Update: May 27, 2017

This past week hasn’t really been anything amazing. I am actively looking for a job, and I don’t know what I was thinking because it’s been hard on me. It’s been tough. My sister keeps telling me that it’ll take time, and I’m just so antsy to be doing something. What should I do with all the spare time I have? It’s always been hard for me to relax. I always need a project. And looking for a job is aggravating because I send out so many applications and most of them go unanswered. Sometimes I get an email back saying they went with someone else, and occasionally I’ve gotten a phone interview.

So, yeah, it’s been a rough week because I’m feeling desperate. I have to try to stay positive and keep on applying to positions. My depression and anxiety get in the way of that sometimes. I feel tired, just like I have no energy, most of the time. But I have to push through it! It’s important to show up, to do the work.

I did get some more books this week because I can’t stop going to the thrift store. Oops! I’ll haul those in a video in June. But one book I got came from Harper Perennial, and I didn’t request it.

end of men
The End of Men by Karen Rinaldi

I love love love this cover, and the book itself looks like it’ll be good. I can’t wait to read it!

I don’t watch much television anymore because so many shows I used to love burned me. (Like The 100, Once Upon A Time, Penny Dreadful, True Blood, Dexter, etc.) They either became bad or ended bad, and I just got sick of television shows. Recently, I watched all of The Golden Girls because it came to Hulu. Now I’m watching Frasier on Netflix. I like a good sitcom, I guess, and both of these shows are really funny.

I also enjoy Netflix’s original shows, though they have so many now that I can’t keep up. I completed my re-watch of all four seasons of House of Cards, and the fifth season is going to be released on May 30. I’m very excited.

The only other show I’m watching is the brand-new American Gods. I’m loving it! I tried to read the book a while ago and DNF’d it without prejudice, lol. That basically means I was willing to try to read it again in the future. I didn’t have time before the show came out, and since Bryan Fuller was attached to the show, I didn’t want to put it off. (I loved the first season, and I guess half of the second season, of Hannibal.) So far, American Gods has been really interesting and dynamic and fresh. I’m loving it.

There are so so so many shows out there these days, but are there any on US Netflix that you could recommend to me? Once I watch season 5 of House of Cards, there will be a hole in my life!

As for reading, that’s still going slowly. I have about 50 pages left of Difficult Women by Roxane Gay. I have 12 hours left on my audiobook of The Girl who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest by Stieg Larsson. I also started The End We Start From by Megan Hunter a few days ago, so I doubt I’ll finish that before the end of the month. We’ll see what my wrap up looks like!

Going off of my last update post, I did start going for walks…yesterday. Hopefully I will go for another walk today! I also started writing a story the day before yesterday, and I wanted to write at least 500 words a day. However, I got nothing done yesterday. I think that’s because it was a particularly bad mental health day. It’s so hard to do anything, even things I find fun and relaxing, when I’m feeling foggy and groggy and sad.

I’ve no plans for the upcoming week except to keep applying to jobs. I know BEA is also next week, but I obviously won’t be there. I’ve actually never been to a con. Maybe next year or the year after. I hope I make some headway in my writing, reading, and walking in the next few days.